Unwritten

I have not advanced in my research-writing. I am definitely in deep shit. I should do half of it this coming Easter holidays.

I have not had productive weeks, I feel gigantic demotivation and laziness and procrasination coming through me all the time.

In two weeks I'll be having my 2nd sem. exams, oh dear oh dear......not again....

I wish people stop asking me when will I be returning to Malaysia (or Indonesia). I've had enough making people understand that I won't probably be coming home very soon. I will, as soon as I finish my master. I want to make my europe experience to the max. That's one of the reason I agree to come to France. End of story.
And no, we are not getting married anytime soon, not because I don't want to, and all this bullshit I-prioritize-my-career-or-we're-too-young-to-get-married issues. NO.NO. It's because we have a lot of unplanned things ahead of us that make us unable to decide what's next.

I am really looking forward to holidays in May. Booked our ways to Venice, Florence and Rome. Hope all goes well.

My mum and brother are coming in early June. GOsh, can't wait to bring them around Paris, Toulouse and get lost in Germany (quite nervous about this trip). I miss them loads. And of course, I'm excited about the goodies she's gonna bring me....hee hee...

The weather still sucks, we are supposed to be in Spring, like...a week ago, but it's still fucking cold, rainy and windy. I seriously starting to get fed up of WINTER!!! Go go go away..
Me want to put on my skirts, sundress, slippers, cotton pants please....

As for self-motivation, people have been telling how my french have improved greatly. YEY!! well hey, I've told myself I won't be coming to France for nothing!

I feel the need of retail therapy flowing vigorously through my vein, but can't seem to afford more than one item. Europe sux in this department.

My love life, beautiful and never been better.

Cassoulet oh lala!

It has been a while that I wanted to try this restaurant in city center called "Bon Vivre". It is always full every dinner and I heard that they serve good food, with definitely "good" price. hihi.

And last weekend, we decided to have dinner there in conjunction with Pierre-Louis' 23rd birthday and a friend's 24th birthday.

I chose Magret du Canard grille avec des pommes de terre et legumes du jour. The duck meat was soooo tender and tasty and big too!! I was definitely full and satisfied!

And the birthday boy chose the house speciality Cassoulet which turned out to be damn good and the portion is huuugeee!!

It is a toulouse speciality made of white bean, duck meat and some sausages inside, baked in a clay pot.

Definitely a great evening with great dish and great company.

Joyeux Anif, mon cheri Pilou et Dianne!!! BISOUS a vous deux.

Finally!!

Yes, finally!! I can sign in to my own blog!! Yeah, you read that rite!
I could not blog (not that I have anything interesting to blog about) for the whole week on account of not being able to sign-in! Wth....

So...here we go....I have news for, well, first of all myself, but if you guys want to know, why not!

The results of my 1st semester exams have been put up the board! Yiiikkeess!! So there it was, my name (easy to recognise as I have the longest first name in the class) and the whole marks that I have "succesfully" achieved...hihi..

I was quite content of most of my marks, I mean, hey this is my first exams in french, I should not, or in this case, anybody, expect too much out of me considering the fact that I have only lived here for 9 months! That's not alot.

So, I am not going to brag (like as if there is anything to brag about!) my marks here, but just to tell you the lowest i got was 7.60/20 (malu deh!) and the highest was 14/20 (not bad, eh!)

And what made me feel better is the fact that for certain subjects, I did not get the lowest marks (notice, I am the only not-french student here...) !! Huhuhu...

In this very blog as well, I would personally send my gratefulness to Mr. Boumegoutti, my geography lecturer who has been extremely generous in giving me 8/20 for his paper, haha.
Considering the "catastrophe" (that was the word he used in describing my paper because apparently, I did not even know that I had to choose 1 out of 3 questions to answer, so I did ALL!! See how genius I had become!) I did on the answer sheet, he has been very generous giving me 8!! Where, in my opinion, I deserved a....I dunno, let's say 2 or 4?? Hihi...

Anyway, all in all, alhamdulillah...really I think I did not too bad for the first semester!

Je vous remercie pour vos generosites et comprehensions, j'essayerai de faire mon mieux pour le deuxieme semestre!! (finger crossed).

My Gurls!!!

Well, my two gurls in this case.

My darling Fathmath Ifasha, a bomb maldivian babe whom I was getting along with soooo well during our years in Taylor's College and who filled up my days with her cracking "stories" and her "brave adventures", just made my day...

She told me today through MSN that she's gonna go to Japan for a tourism exhibition for 3 days. Honestly and sincerely, was I happy and excited for her.
After ALL she's been through for the past a year, at least, she sooooo deserves it!!
YOU GO GIRL!!

I miss you hell load...!!! And make the most of it, yea!!

ps: try to "accidently" miss the plane and fly to France instead, try at least, ok!


Two nights ago, I had this incentive conversation with the oh-so-brilliant invention of the history of mankind, MSN Messenger (no, im not promoting...) with Mizz Nadiah from Singapore.

My long lost girl whom I've known for...6 years, but separated for 4 years, Haha! (you do the math) started the conversation which lead to a late nite nothing-but-fun-and-hilarious catching up talk!!

No, really, we seldom talked like that in MSN, it is usually some casual hi, hello and wat's new with you thingy. But I was so happy that we could talk "lots" that nite and really catching up on our "lives". Haha.

What was so sweet of her is the fact that she blogged about me just right after!!! Aaawww..... isn't that really thoughtful of her...

Sigh....how I miss my gurls so much...You guys are all sooo welcomed anytime if you wanna come by! *Hint hint!*

"if you don't like the culture you're living in, make your own....."

I wish, it's as simple as that. here. in france.

on est en vacances? j'en suis pas sure...

nous sommes en vacances pous une semaine.
mais comme on a pas de chance, il faut qu'on fasse notre memoire de la merde!!!!

on voulait aller faire du ski, pas assez de neige sur la montagne. (it's global warming, i tell ya!)
on voulait aller nager, la piscine est fermee pendant une semaine pour la vidange.
on voulait aller a l'italie, on attend un peu jusqu'au printemps.

so, you do the math!!!

il faut que je me mise mes fesses sur ma chaise et type away my 60 pages of memoire..!!!

et merde, merde, merde....!!!!

I know I don't really have lotsa of free time, but I still take my own sweet time to drown myself with books which are not related at all to my memoire!

"Five people you meet in heaven", "Tuesdays with Morrie" both by Mitch Albom, "On beauty" by Zadie Smith, "Saving fish from drowning" by Amy Tan, "Everyone worth knowing" by the woman who wrote devil wears prada, "Angela's ashes" by Frank McCourt and "Incredibly loud and extremely close" by Jonathan Safran Foer.

And what have I read for my litterature review???????????.............

Rien, vrachement zero! en fait, j'ai lu quelques pages de quelque bouquins...il faut je m'y mets plus fort!!

Au secour....

more of Madrid

continuons-nous alors.....

Guess what! We found Starbucks in Madrid, i know i know....wth rite..??

But hey! there's none in Toulouse and when we were in Paris we did not get to go there since I was juz weeks away from Startbucks in The Mall. hehe. So this time! we were really missing it, BIG TIME!! So, in we went, ordered our cappucino venti, vandalised the chocolate powder and invaded the huge sofas...HAHAHA!! uuuh...heaven heaven, oh and the 2nd time we went, we fell asleep on the sofa for like, 30 minutes and my friend told me that people were looking at us sleeping, either they took us like some freaks, or pity us cuz we were looking so tired....heheh...(self-pity).

We also ate loads and loads.....the foods are basically cheaper in Spain.

The last day, our spanish teacher treated all of us (like 40 of us) for a glass of wine or beer or coke whatever just to celebrate the end of our trip. She is just so nice and sweet, that woman!

Then, up we go hit the club!!! All like, 30 of us walking up and down the street looking for clubs that can give us free first drink!! HAHA!! We managed to get 2! Not bad eh....

The nite went really well, all of us dancing away, even the algerian guy...haha!

Some parade celebrating i dont know what we happened to see.

Et voila, notre prof preferee!! Hehe

Nice mascot huh, very spanish.

MADRID

Last week my classmates and I, and Pierre-Louis bien sur, went for a study trip to Madrid.

You know what, actually this trip was meant for those who are learning spanish, and seeing that I am not (I am a foreigner, must learn french....sigh sigh sigh....yea yea yea...) I was not supposed to go. BUT, knowing that french students are sooo good in protesting and complaining...et VOILA! the rests of the students can go with them too! Transport and rooms paid!! Kesempatan doooonk....ya ga sih...

So, long story short, there I was sitting on a bus ready for 12 hours journey Toulouse - Madrid.

Reached the city exactly at noon, and ooh lala!! Qu'est qu'il faisait beau!! Sun shining and warm. Checked in and decided straight to start the city exploration! Wiiiii.....!!!




Having lunch in one of the local restaurants. Trying the different kinds of Tapas and Paellas. It was not bad but could have been better, specially the Paellas, the rice was not so cooked and the seafood looked not fresh.

Well, no harm, it was a try!!










Plaza de Toros. An arena used as an entertainement center during the olden days where people watch, what's the guy who kills bulls called again?, killing bulls.

But i'm sure Coloseum is waaaaay more impressive than this.











to be continued ok.....

I did it!!!

Yes! that's right. I have sat for my first semester exams in french. HAHAHAHA.....!!

But trust me, it was frightening and brain-squeezing and moral-degrading.....haihh....

So, a mon avis, I did, well what can I say....I dont know really. I will tell you when the results come up. But definitely Geographie is dead, cuz you know what......***drum rolls*** I didn't even realize that we had to choose one of the questions to answer!!!! **ta..daaa...!!*** What worse thing could have happened than THIS!!! I actually did ALL 3 questions, im such a beyond dumb ass. Well for my defend, there was no indication saying that we had to chose one out of 3!! You see! can't blame me at all. Even though the lecturer already said that few weeks beofre exams, but HEELLOOOWWW...... it was few weeks ago, I, of all people, tend to forget things! More over, it was in french, he spoke faster than TGV train, and during that few weeks I gotta study and learn more things more important rather than remembering your "warning" which was as important as well.....but you know.... haiiih.... what does it take to put few words saying "Chose one out of 3 subjects below to discuss" Or " Vous devez choisir l'un de trois sujets dessous" .

Well, what's past is past. Now let's see what I did after exams.

-- Went to Kashmir to eat indian food which we missed a lot! And we did eat loads! 6 Nans, Lamb and chicken tandoori with some Dal.
-- Catching up shows on cinema, we watched Rocky Balboa, NOT my cuppa tea, just because Pierre-Louis been bugging me sooo much... ( what love is all about, rite??) Hihi..
-- Ate japanese food. Which was not really satisfying knowing the price we paid. Well, at least my craving was fulfilled.
-- Had tea and cake in our favorite salon de the in Toulouse. Yumm..yumm...

So, finger crossed for my results eh!!

Btw, it is FREAKING FREEZING down here!!! God, i miss tropical weather, sunshine, air-conned shopping malls, swimming pools, tennis court and yada yada yada......

It's snowing outside. Rite now. How cool rite! My first snow ever!
I can go skiing!! (yea rite..laugh to self)

About today's exams.

GOD!!!! I wish i can juz die there and then! No, it's not the haiyo-so-hard-cannot-do-lah typical student post-exams whining I'm doing here. Not at all, I must spell it out clearly. It is far worse, waay waaay worse.

Remember the last post I said about being the proudest Dita on earth, I may haf to wait for that in a gazillion years. I have never felt so.......uuurrrrgghhh...!! (burry my head deeper than akar pohon beringin).

The day turned out to be better after all.

So, two more down!

TWO DOWN!!!

Yes, two subjects down!

Today I sat for Gestion des Ressources Humaines (HR) and Gestion ( Accounting)

The first one was tougher than we all expected before. And there were juz too many questions for 3 hours duration. I managed to do all questions Alhamdulillah... But I am not really sure that I will get a very good mark.

The latter, the most hideous, frightening, despicable, appaling, wicked subject of ALL!!! No offense to accounting addict out there, but it's just I could never get myself into liking it, EVER! Gosh..!! Maybe because of my brain limit of calculation and benefits/loss analysis or whatever that is, but Gestion, ca me fait vraiment chier!!!

However, I guess I did manage to do some require tables and "ribet" calculation. And I am optimistic to get 10/20!!! HAHAHAH!! That's the spiriiit!!! Join me, will you!!
God, if I really ever get 10, I will be the proudest Dita in this planet!!!

Pray for me people.

Tomorrow: Marketing and Economie.

Sigh.

Some site in Madrid, Spain. Just as a motivation cuz after this hell hole, we will be off to Spaaaiiinn...yeeeyy!!!!

I feel extremely and abnormaly calm, relaxed and laid-back knowing that exams are starting tomorrow.

I wonder why?

All those make me freaking out even more.

Wish me TONS of luck, ok!!!!

Exams are in one week time, ONE FREAKING WEEK!!!!!!!

That's all the time i haf to gulp and swallow all my notes in FREEEEENNCCCHH!!!!

AARRRGGGGHHHH......!!!!!!

I am freaking out, freaking out, freaking out!!!!!

note to self: if i did good for my exams, I , Pramudya Widita Isfandiari, sincerely determine to puasa for one week and absent myself from all the "interdits" and pray more.

- Holiday is almost over. On monday i gotta go back to class. And i don't feel well.
No, i am not sick. I just don't feel well. Exams are coming in two weeks time. I am not ready. But i don't know what is to be ready. I don't know what they expect me to do, how they expect me to perform. I am not sure. I started studying, revising, reading my notes, understanding given articles. But, I am still not sure. -

- I was surrounded by 17 people. Everyone was laughing, joking, exchanging stories, catching up with one another. I understood what they said, or did not I? I followed their stories, or did not I? Everyone seems swimming comfortably, enjoying each others' company. Me, I was drowning not far from them. Maybe because I did not try to swim or save myself. But nobody seems to notice that, that I was sinking every minute among them.
I wanted to be there. I did. I wanted to celebrate new year with people. Having fun. Drinking. Eating. Talking. Laughing. Dancing away. So, did I do all that? I apparently did. But there was just something not right. I did not feel right. I felt, i dunno, misplaced. I was oceaned with people, partying, but somehow I just did not want to be there. I wanted to leave so bad. --

- I have never missed my family so bad before. But now I do. I really do. --

- What will you do after you finish your Masters? The golden question often fired at me. And sadly I gotta answer by "I dunno" most of the time. Eventhough in my head I have the answers, whether they are certain or not, it's my problem. I was imagining beautiful things, disastrous things, grown-up things. I imagined myself working or not, whatever. I pictured my wedding day. I pictured my life in the next 5 years, hoping so much there will be pierre-louis as my beloved loving husband and father of my child/children. I pictured sweet and bitter things of my life happening after France. The next chapter will be what? I have no idea. But I want it to be simple and happy. --

-- But somehow I'm scared. All the "what-if"s keep coming into my head.

Look what i've got!! Look look..!!!

A pair of red leather gloves for my freezing hands, from the loveliest Mr. et Mme Genier.... Merci..

The brown porcelain bracelet from Pierre-Louis chayaank and the black and blue stone ring from Mamie... Merci..

This pair, I got them myself. They are super cute and adorable, dont you think??? (replacing my another lifeless pair of brown flats)

Protecting my cold feet from vicious winter cold that creeps inside the house. They are warm and cushy. I got them only for 8euros. Pas mal, non!

And a novel of " Everyone Worth Knowing" by Laura Weisberger from Sean. Merci..

HAHA!!!

Special Visit

Guess what!! Ronald came to Tours that day on thursday to deliver his words that he was gonna visit me and pierre-louis.

So, he dragged himself out of bed that cold cold misty morning in Angers to catch a bus to the train station and the train left at 9.30am, (isit, Ronald??). He reached Tours at 10.30am (ok..ok..not so long journey, im juz exaggerating).

I was super excited to see him and being a sweet Ronald that he is, he brought me tons of chocolats!!!! YYYEEEEEYY....!!!!

We showed him around Tours. Visit Tours by foot. haha!

Had lunch in best kebab resto in Tours. Shared stories and experience in France. Our ups and downs (mostly ups for him).

Stopped by in pierre louis' parents house and introduced him to them. Talked and talked and more talked.

By 5pm we sent him back to train station to catch the train to Angers.

What a day! Tiring but fun, really refreshing to see some familiar face in France. And remember the good old days (ok, not too long ago, but STILL!) of Alliance Francaise and the best group of Slip Rouge. Haha!

First christmas in France....

No, actually it's first xmas EVER!!! secara emang gue ga pernah tuh ngerayain natal... But even this time, I was juz attending the dinner and family gathering.

Pierre Louis and I spent christmas in Tours, his parents' house together with Sean, we brought him along with us.

We had dinner on xmas eve with the parents and his brother and his girlfriend, Anne.

We had some "molecular gastronomy" food as starter. First is the "fake caviar" made of fresh orange juice.

They tasted....hhm...well....a bit disgusting. HAHA!! it was pierre louis who made them since he was sooo into this molecular gastronomy thingy so he decided to try it for xmas starter. He succeded to impress everyone in terms of making caviar, but in terms of taste...yucky!! NEED IMPROVEMENT eh!!

Then we had foie gras (duck liver cooked in fat) too, which was one of my favorite menu.

Followed by lobster cooked in chestnut sauce. Incredibly delicious.

Next was roasted duck, classic xmas french dish. It was a bit burned and over-cooked hehe. Nevertheless it was still finger-licking good. And all this excellent spread were the results of the hard work of Ms. Vincent Genier and Pierre-Louis Genier. Bravo to them! Haha!

As dessert, we had mummy-made Xmas Bouche (a special french xmas cake) which was yummy.

Apologize for the absent of pictures but i was sooo into the food that i forgot to take photos of them.

Oh! And i've got presents too!

(what the fuck is wrong with my blog!!! I cant put up pictures!!! Guess better start a new one then...sigh...)

Why not some change, eh!!

I cut my hair SUPER SHORT!!!!

Why??

1. The amount of falling hair everyday worry me
2. I hate sweeping the floor and finding lotsa hair everywhere
3. This is the chance for me to change and look different after so many years with the same haircut. Even if my short new hair does not turn fine, it's ok cuz i'm in France. Nobody cares. More people look worse than me sometimes. So what the hell.

However...

My hair turns out juz fine!!! Thanks to Sonia, a genius hairdresser who did magic to my long tangled hair into SUPER SHORT hair. Well, for the price I paid (pierre louis did, not me), I deserved a great cut!!

Happy Belated New Year

to everyone...

may everything will be better this year...!!!!!